A Chance To Die

Amy Carmichael is someone that I have been reading about, thanks to Seth's 5th grade assignments. (Who learns more, the homeschool mom, or the student?!) Have you heard of her? If not, do a google search and read about her life as a missionary. It's an amazing story. At one point early in her missionary endeavors, she expressed a lament of some sort to an older/wiser missionary. His response to her was "See in it a chance to die."   .....huh? hhmmm.....

Is this how I respond when things don't go as "they should" go in my life? Do I actually look at disappointments as opportunities to become more selfless?

Jesus himself told us: "If anyone wishes to be a follower of mine, he must leave self behind." Matthew 16:24
And: "You cannot come with me unless you love me more than you love your own life. You cannot be my disciple unless you carry your cross and come follow me."  Luke 14:26-27

Honestly, these teachings are too deep for us to grasp. We have a very shallow understanding of these truths. I know I do, anyway. As I seek to put FIRST His Kingdom in all that I say, do, long for, and believe, I readily see that I do not yet fully understand.

At a Beth Moore conference years ago, out of all she said (and she said many wonderful things!), the thing that sticks with me the most has always been this: "God told me long ago that He had a lot that He wanted to do through me. But, at that time He told me, 'But you aren't yet dead." Of course, I am paraphrasing her and I am sure I have not put it as eloquently as she did. But that is the message in a nutshell. So- I suppose that I am not yet dead, either.

Dying is a painful process. Yet I know that anything that Jesus has ever killed off in me, anything He has ever ripped out by the roots-- none of it is anything that I have ever missed. They are always things that I didn't want to be part of me anyway, but had no vision or ability to remove them from myself. When a Scuptor carves a form out of marble, he does not give any thought to the chunks and shards that hit the floor. No, he is focused instead on the form he is shaping and the image that is emerging from the mass. And so it is-- God chips away at us and forms us to look more and more like His Son. We aren't left feeling any loss.

So, really we ought to be able to embrace the opportunities to die to self. For if we were perfected already, if we didn't need chipped away at in a major fashion, if we didn't need radical surgery, and a complete heart transplant-- we would not need Jesus. If we were fine in and of ourselves, as ourselves, He wouldn't have needed to die. Don't fight it. Allow the Lord to chip away. He is very skilled, and tender. When it's really painful, know that He is busy doing some of His best, most necessary work. You won't be sorry.